Happy birthday, Mother’s Day!
The holiday that you and I know as Mother’s Day turns 100 today: it was officially designated as a holiday on the second Sunday in May by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson in 1914 (you can view the proclamation here).
The holiday was inspired by Anna Jarvis of West Virginia. You might be surprised to know that Anna never had children (or maybe that explains all of that energy). When her own mother died in 1905, Anna decided to honor her with a memorial service. That service, held in Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia, is considered the first observance of what we call Mother’s Day today.
Of course, we celebrate a lot differently today than Jarvis had imagined. Jarvis envisioned simply “a day where you’d go home to spend time with your mother and thank her for all that she did,” according to historian Katharine Antolini of West Virginia Wesleyan College.
Today, however, Mother’s Day is marked by cards, gifts, flowers, and brunch. It’s easy (and indeed somewhat popular on social media) to poke fun at how commercial the holiday has become – with many folks referring to it as a “Hallmark holiday” – but we’re all guilty of the extravagance. According to the National Retail Federation, we’ll spend an average of $162.94 on our moms this year: total spending will reach $19.9 billion. Most of us opt for greeting cards (81.3%) while nearly two-thirds (66.6%) will buy flowers.
We’ll also eat out with mom today. According to the U.S. National Restaurant Association, Mother’s Day is the year’s most popular holiday for dining out. I can vouch for that: one of my many jobs in grad school as a temp was answering phones for Mother’s Day brunch reservations.
And I’m not going to lie: I’m on the commercial bandwagon, too. I sent my mom flowers and chocolates this week since I can’t hang out with her today (in case you’re new to the blog: she’s pretty awesome).
I’m also looking forward to my own linner (our combination of lunch and dinner) today – we have reservations on the patio at one of my favorite spots.
But as folks spend literally billions on their moms today in honor of Mother’s Day, it raises an interesting question: what about those dollars that we spend on our moms outside of the day? And no, I’m not talking about a Christmas sweater or two. I’m talking about those of you that literally support your mom throughout the year. Not because it’s Mother’s Day but because your mom depends on you for physical care or economic support – or both. What about those dollars?
According to a study published last year by the Pew Foundation, one in five middle-aged adults provided financial support to a parent age 65 or older in the past year. Even more significant, one-in-seven middle-aged adults (15%) is providing financial support to both an aging parent and a child.
Supporting two households can put a strain on your wallet. But there is some relief in the form of tax breaks. You likely already know that you can claim your qualifying child as a dependent on your tax return. A person is your qualifying child for federal income tax purposes if that person meets all of these tests:
- Relationship. The dependent must be your child, stepchild, adopted child, foster child, brother or sister, or a descendant of one of these.
- Residence. The dependent must have the same residence as you for at least half of the tax year.
- Age. The dependent must be:
(a) under age 19 at the end of the year and younger than you (or your spouse if filing jointly)
(b) under age 24 at the end of the year, a student, and younger than you (or your spouse if filing jointly), or
(c) any age if permanently and totally disabled - Support. The dependent must not have provided more than half of his or her own support during the tax year.
- Return. The dependent, if married, must not have filed a joint return with his or her spouse.
But there’s another category of dependents that sometimes gets overlooked: the qualifying relative. Generally, a person is your qualifying relative if that person meets all of these tests:
- Residency OR Relationship. The dependent must live with you OR must be related to you.
- Limited Income. The dependent must not have gross (total) income worth more than the personal exemption amount ($3,950 for 2014). Social Security income does not count for purposes of figuring this number.
- Support. You must provide more than half of the dependent’s total support for the year.
- No Other Claims. The dependent must not be your qualifying child nor the qualifying child of anyone else.
Yep, you read that right: residency is not a requirement to claim a dependent as a qualifying relative so long as the other criteria apply. So you might be able to claim your mom (or dad) as a dependent if you provide financial support – even if your mom (or dad) doesn’t live with you.
And it doesn’t stop there: dependency status is applicable to other tax deductions and credits, too. For example, if you pay the cost for someone to care for your mom (or dad) while you’re at work, you may be eligible to claim the dependent care credit. You likely think of it as the Child Care Credit but the actual term is Child and Dependent Care Credit – the word “dependent” makes a big difference. If your parent qualifies, you can claim the credit of up to 35% of your qualifying expenses, depending upon your adjusted gross income (AGI); for 2014, you can include expenses of up to $3,000 for one dependent or $6,000 for two or more dependent to figure the credit.
You may also be able to claim medical expenses you pay for your parent’s care – again, assuming that your mom (or dad) qualifies as your dependent. But be careful: you can’t claim related expenses even if you pay them if your parent is not your dependent.
Of course, money isn’t everything. Sadly, Jarvis died at 84, penniless, and in a state of dementia, just down the road from me. She hated what Mother’s Day had become: she thought it was too much about the gifts and the cards and the flowers. But I have to think she’s wrong about the last part. We choose to honor our mothers in all kinds of ways – and maybe cards and gifts and flowers are the best way that some of us know how to show it. Maybe others choose to express themselves with art (my daughters wrote me a poem and made me a slideshow). And maybe some just keep plugging away quietly as caregivers and paying those necessary expenses.
However (and with whomever) you choose to celebrate today, cheers!