It’s resume season at my law office, which means we’re getting lots of emails and letters from aspiring attorneys. I’ve also received a few inquiries at taxgirl.com asking for job advice for tax professional wannabes. So, in honor of the “season”, I’m reprinting a piece that I wrote last year. Consider it the “What Not to Do” for job seekers:
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We’ve been in a sea of resumes at my office, having recently hired a new paralegal and we are currently seeking an office admin person. As always, it’s a rather eye-opening experience.
I have approached every job that I have ever had with professionalism, from ringing up customers at GapKids to managing clients at a big law firm. It’s the ethic that my father instilled in me, that you should respect other people and do a good job. People are paying you to work, so work. Don’t play on the phone, don’t file your nails, just do the job that you’re asked to do. I never considered that to be asking too much.
I have assisted in hiring at all three firms where I have worked, including, obviously, my own. I continue to be amazed at the lack of professionalism exhibited on resumes and in interviews. And clearly, it’s not just me. Just this year, the legal world was reeling from the very public display of inappropriate behaviour from Diana Abdala, who first accepted a job and then turned it down – via email! Yes, it’s mind-boggling.
So in honor of this, today’s Top Ten Monday is my list of the top ten displays of How Not To Get a Job…
1. Use a cheesy email address. I have gotten perfectly fine resumes from potential candidates who insist on using monikers like “onesexxxymama@genericdotcom” or “ilikebigones@whateverdotcom” Huh? C’mon, an account at yahoo or the like is free.
2. Call me instead of sending a resume. To this day, my favorite jobseeker was the guy from UPenn who actually called and left this message (almost verbatim): “Yeah, um, hi, this is Bob. I went to Penn Law. If you want to hire me, you can call me at xxx.xxx.xxxx” Right, Bob. I’ll get right on that. Apparently that Ivy League education of yours failed to teach you how to send a resume.
3. Don’t proofread. Occasionally, my secretary will hear me howl with laughter over typos in resumes and cover letters. Two recent gems: “Hire me and you will be disappointed” and “I have great attention to detial.”
4. FedEx your resume. This is a pet peeve of mine, especially if it requires a signature. I am too damn busy to sign for your freaking resume. And the fact that you’re sending it via FedEx says to me (true or not) that (1) you’re desperate to be recognized and (2) you have enough money already.
5. Ask for lots more money than you’re worth. When a potential employer asks for your salary requirements, it’s a serious question. It’s not a wish list, and it’s not Christmas. Be reasonable. Unless your father owns the company, nobody will ever pay you $25/hour just to file papers. Ever.
6. Don’t bother to research the company. This is especially crazy in the legal field where almost every reputable (and even those not so reputable) law firm has a web site. If it’s a blind ad, sure, you can’t do anything. But if has the name of the firm in the ad, take a trip over to the web site to check them out. I can’t stand resumes that say things like “I’ve always wanted to be an environmental litigator” (read our practice areas, buddy, we don’t litigate) or “I”ve wanted to work at your firm since I was born” (Really? Cause we’ve only been open for six years.) If you don’t want to take the time to research the firm, then stay generic.
7. Call me by the wrong name. Again, if you’re taking the time to personalize your letter, get it right.
8. Be belligerent. I once had someone call me up and lambast me for not giving them a job. Brilliant. Cause now instead of putting your resume in the “maybe later pile”, it’s now going in the “Never, ever, ever, never pile.”
9. Don’t show up for an interview. I’ve gotten a couple of these. No phone call, no email. And some of them still had the balls to believe that they were being considered for the position. Wha-huh? If you can’t show up for an interview, what are the chances that you’ll show up for work?
10. Badmouth your prior employer. Ok, this one is a little tricky. I have worked a ton of places for people that I didn’t love. And in the legal field, it’s easy to get sucked into talking about why you didn’t like your old firm, ya-da, ya-da. But there is a line between saying that you didn’t like the atmosphere, the type of work, etc., and calling your old boss a crook. Or saying that you hate everything about where you were. Or telling me how you used to cheat your old boss. Remember, I may know your old boss. I could even be married to him.
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