About a year ago, I was notified by the ABA Journal that my blog was nominated as one of the top 100 legal blawgs for 2008. I was, needless to day, extremely honored.
One of my colleagues in Pennsylvania, Neil Hendershot, wrote about my nomination, including some really kind commentary. He also suggested his own “ask the taxgirl” question:
Kelly, how do you find the time to do all this while practicing law and mothering three kids?
I promised him that I would answer. And so, a few months (*ahem*) after the fact, I’m finally getting around to it.
There’s a method to my madness. You see, today is my anniversary. I’ve been married for 9 years (really? that long?). I’ve also managed a law firm for 9 years. That’s not coincidental.
This isn’t to say that I don’t work hard. Or that I couldn’t do it on my own. Because I think I could manage. But it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun. Or nearly as wonderful.
Earlier this year, Sandra Bullock said something that really resonated with me. Speaking to Parade, she said: “You know, I complete me. I’m just lucky that after I completed myself, I met someone who could tolerate me.”
And that’s exactly how I feel about my husband. Not exactly the stuff of anniversary cards, I know. But it’s true.
When I suggested to Chris that he drop Reed Smith and start a firm with me (I had just quit my prior lawyer gig), he didn’t roll his eyes and say no. Well, maybe he rolled his eyes. But he also said okay. He knew that we could do it. And we did.
When I started writing this little tax blog – on a subject that completely disinterested him – he humored me. He pretended to listen to my posts and my articles. And I pretended to listen to his feedback.
In between it all, we managed to have some pretty amazing kids. They’re smart and funny and of course, Phillies fans (I said smart, right?).
So when it comes to finding time for the things that are important, I have to say that I can do it because I have a family (and friends) who support me in fabulous, wonderful ways. And I have a husband who understands me (well, as much as anyone can) and helps me work out all the details – like deadlines and schedules and meetings. But mostly, he tolerates me. And that counts for a lot.
Happy anniversary, Chris… and you’re working on that World Series title for my present, right?
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. ~ Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975
Taxpayer asks:
Last year, I moved in with my boyfriend at his condo. He lost his job so I paid most of the bills. I paid the mortgage direclty for most of the year. I also paid some of his credit card bills, the car payment and some of his child support paymnets so he didn’t get behind again. Can I take any of these things off on my taxes? Would it make a difference if we got married?
Taxgirl says:
You cannot deduct the cost of credit cards and car payments for personal use. Personal loans are never deductible.
Child support is likewise not deductible; in fact, child support is considered “tax neutral” (neither deductible to the payor nor taxable to the payee), unlike spousal support.
Mortgage interest is only deductible when you’re legally responsible for the note. Here, you’re clearly not since you indicated that it’s your boyfriend’s condo.
Now for the bigger question:
If you got married, it would only change the mortgage bit in terms of your deductions. Your husband would be able to take the mortgage interest deduction and charge it against your income. You’d also be able to claim an additional personal exemption against your income, assuming he’s still not working. Of course, this would not apply to last year – just this tax year if you got married by December 31, 2009.
I’m actually asked a lot whether it makes more sense to be married – or not – based on taxes. The answer is that it always depends on your situation from a tax perspective, though it tends, under the current system, to be more beneficial to file as married than single. Again, really facts and circumstances dependent.
That said, I run a business with my husband. And as I approach my own anniversary (it’s next week), I can honestly say that a business is not the same as a marriage. In business, you tend to make decisions that are largely based on dollars. In marriage, not so much.
This is not to say that financial decisions aren’t an important consideration in a marriage. It certainly is (you want to think about, for example, whether your potential spouse and you are compatible in terms of how you view money). But marriage is tough enough between two people: don’t drag Uncle Sam into it, too.
Like any good lawyer, I need to add a disclaimer: Unfortunately, it is impossible to give comprehensive tax advice over the internet, no matter how well researched or written. Before relying on any information given on this site, contact a tax professional to discuss your particular situation.
Have a question? Ask the taxgirl! – Now on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/taxgirl
Taxpayer asks:
Single taxpayer elgible for and takes advantage of $8000 first time homebuyer credit. Prior to 3 yrs ownership, taxpayer gets married and wishes to put new spouse name on deed. Does that disqualify and require repayment of the $8000?
Taxgirl says:
Nope. Eligibility for the first-time homebuyer credit is determined on the date of purchase. Subsequent marriage does not trigger repayment of the credit.
Like any good lawyer, I need to add a disclaimer: Unfortunately, it is impossible to give comprehensive tax advice over the internet, no matter how well researched or written. Before relying on any information given on this site, contact a tax professional to discuss your particular situation.
Have a question? Ask the taxgirl! – Now on Facebook!
Taxpayer asks:
Tax girl, I have been seperated from my wife for over 20 years. But we have never had a legal seperation on paper.
Can I file single or do I still have to file Married filing seperate?
Thank you for any information you can give.
Taxgirl says:
The feds look to state law for the answer to this one. Your filing status, for tax purposes, is determined as of the last day of the tax year (December 31). You can file as “single” if you were legally separated or divorced according to the laws of your state as of that date. If you live in a state like Pennsylvania where there is no legal separation, your choices are only “married” or “divorced.” If you’re still legally married, you must file as such (so it sounds like, from your question, that you would file as MFS – married filing separately).
There is an exception to this rule which might apply: you may be considered “unmarried” and eligible to file as Head of Household (HOH) if you meet certain criteria. That criteria can be found at my prior post on filing status.
It’s not that odd a situation. I’ve had clients married for much longer than 20 years that have refused to get a divorce for a number of reasons – religion, finances, etc. Sometimes, it just didn’t seem convenient to “bother” with a divorce. But remember that your legal marital status affects other facets of your finances, too, such as inheritance/estate tax and intestacy and probate laws. And it makes it awfully hard to find a date… 
For more on divorce and taxes, check out this prior post that I wrote for The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide.
Like any good lawyer, I need to add a disclaimer: Unfortunately, it is impossible to give comprehensive tax advice over the internet, no matter how well researched or written. Before relying on any information given on this site, contact a tax professional to discuss your particular situation.
Have a question? Ask the taxgirl!
