Fun During Tax Season: Tax Haiku

It’s my mostly annual and wildly popular taxgirl Tax Haiku!

Here’s what you need to know to write a tax haiku (俳句). Haiku is a form of Japanese poetry. The best part? It’s short. Traditional haiku consists of just 17 syllables. The English version is a pattern of three 5-7-5. Haiku in English is usually written in three lines, like this:

Don’t fall for phone scams.
If caller says IRS,
They’re likely lying.

Or

Check your calendar:
Tax Day in 2016
Is April 18.

Or

Hiding funds offshore?
IRS will hunt you down.
Why not come clean now?

See? Super easy. And fun – trust me, you’ll get addicted.
You don’t have to be great at it. It doesn’t have to rhyme. It doesn’t have to make me swoon. It just has to be in the 5-7-5 pattern (so being able to count is a plus) and focus on tax. Any kind of tax. Income tax. NIIT. Affordable Care Act. FATCA. Sales tax. Tax reform. It’s all good.
Here are some more haiku from years for inspiration:

No health care this year?
Must cough up tax penalty.
No real cure for that.

IRS audit
Not fun, not cheap, not for weak
Call an attorney.

Taxes due again?
Where are the good deductions?
Phased out – too much dough.

AMT is due
only for the rich, they claim.
Then why do I owe?

Section 1-6-2
You allow me to expense
I think I love you.

And my all-time favorite ->

It’s done, Switzerland.
No more banking secrecy.
Now you just have cheese.

It’s no fun if you don’t play along! Give it a whirl. Again, simply use 5 syllables – 7 syllables – 5 syllables. It’s so easy, even a member of Congress can do it!
And now, the bad news: there’s no corresponding software giveaway this year. But post anyway – in the comments, on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, LinkedIn, YouTube (yes, you can upload a video) – wherever the mood strikes you. I might even surprise you with some cool taxgirl merch for playing along.
Haiku away.

Kelly Phillips Erb

Kelly Phillips Erb is a tax attorney, tax writer, and podcaster.

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