The fabulous Jeena Cho recently wrote a piece for The Lawyerist entitled “How To Stay Married To A Lawyer.” She made a number of good points, not the least of which is that your spouse’s profession can have a significant impact on your relationship: not all jobs are created equal. It got me thinking and, with a little nod and a wink to her (and the understanding that she’s much more zen and much less snarky than me), I offer you 10 tips to help you stay married to a tax professional:
- Don’t ask why the client didn’t get that information to us sooner. Because the answer will always be the same, “because they didn’t.” I know that it drives you crazy that as we creep closer to tax filing deadlines, the work seems to pile on and get bigger, not smaller. It’s the nature of the beast. No matter how many times we tell clients that we need all of their data by a certain deadline, you can be sure that something will get left out. Every year. Remarking that it shouldn’t happen won’t make it not happen (yes, a double negative). Just let it go. We will.
- Do nod and smile and pretend like you care about tax – just a little bit. My husband has zero idea what a form 3115 is used for or what kinds of taxes are dischargeable in a bankruptcy. But he pretends that he cares about it anyway. Just like I pretend that I really care who remains in the NHL playoffs since the Flyers didn’t make the cut. The reality is that sometimes I just want to rant about how the Internal Revenue Service keeps changing the rules for offshore disclosures. Or why a certain auditor didn’t seem to understand the form 1099-MISC rules. Nodding and smiling at points in that conversation goes a long way even if it’s totally disinteresting. It’s what makes a marriage with a tax professional work.
- Don’t ask if we really need that extra cup of coffee. Because we always do. Bonus tip: during tax season is not an ideal time to time to talk about changes for a healthy lifestyle. During the season, it’s coffee until it’s time for wine. We can talk a more balanced diet later.
- Do offer to make dinner – or reservations – once in awhile. Speaking of diet, I’m typically the one in our family that gets dinner together. The tax professional in your life may or may not also have that title. But whether he or she makes dinner most nights or not, offering to make dinner or reservations – especially during tax season – is always appreciated.
- Don’t hand over a lengthy to do list on April 16. Yes, we have a season. Just like Santa. And like Santa, things get really crazy right until the last minute. But when the big day comes, that doesn’t mean that all of the work disappears. There are still letters to write, naughty and nice lists to make and clients to watch over (not necessarily while they’re sleeping, though, because that’s just creepy and quite possibly, a felony in some jurisdictions). And don’t even get us started on extensions…
- Do save receipts. It makes us happy. I know that you don’t know why you need to save the grocery tape but it might be something that we need to support a charitable donation or unreimbursed job expense. We spend a lot of time telling clients to save receipts. Not having our own would be embarrassing. Just humor us.
- Don’t complain about all of the sticky notes. It’s an occupational hazard. Even those in the profession that are practically paperless use sticky notes. We can’t work without them. And yes, the specific colors matter. There’s a system. Don’t mess with the system.
- Do come along with us to tax events. Tax events pop up all year long – like the AICPA Practitioners Symposium and Tech+ Conference or the ABA Tax Section May Meeting (next weekend!). I get that the idea of a group of tax professionals in one place at one time sounds terrible but trust me, it’s not. It’s actually fabulous. In between the educational sessions and speeches, there’s a lot of networking that goes on – that’s the best part. And we want you to see the best part and meet our people – and have our people meet you. It’s like a working vacation. Bonus: at least part of the trip will be tax deductible.
- Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to use a tax professional for your taxes. I don’t do my own taxes. It’s how I stay married. Ditto for many of my colleagues. Just like I don’t expect a cardiac surgeon to do his own heart surgery or a chef to always cook his own four star meals. Yes, as tax professionals, we might have the skills to do our own taxes but that doesn’t mean that we want to – or that we should. We have skin in the game and that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes it’s good to sit back and be the client. So if your tax professional spouse suggests that it might be better to hire someone else, don’t complain and don’t tease, just do it.
- Do understand that despite the grumbling and complaining about how this would be the.last.tax.season.ever, we really love this job. A million times over. I can’t speak for CPAs, EAs, accountants and other preparers, but according to Vault.com, tax lawyers are the happiest lawyers (those most satisfied with their jobs). Help us stay that way.
