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Ask The Taxgirl: Finding Natural Birth Parents

Kelly Phillips ErbOctober 21, 2009January 21, 2020

Taxpayer asks:

I don’t even know how to start.

Last year, I found out that I was adopted. My parents have no interest in helping me find my birth mother but it something that I have to do.

I have found a lawyer that says he will help me find her but it is very expensive. My question is can I deduct any of the costs in finding my real mom?

Taxgirl says:

Wow. That sure is a lot on your plate.

Unfortunately, no, the expenses associated with your search are not deductible. You can only deducted attorney’s fees as an individual in limited circumstances which include certain tax advice; defending a lawsuit that was filed against you on a work-related issue; or for your business. As a side note, you can only take that deduction as a miscellaneous 2% deduction on your Schedule A.

You may think that it’s deductible because fees (including attorney’s fees) related to an adoption may be taken as a credit on your tax return. However, those expenses relate to fees incurred while adopting or trying to adopt a child, not for an adopted child trying to locate a birth parent.

In other words, there’s no available offset (credit or deduction) in your case.

I’m totally not being flip here but I think it might be a good idea if, along the way, you engaged in a little therapy to deal with this big change in your life. On the plus side, that is deductible (assuming that you itemize).

I wish you well.

Like any good lawyer, I need to add a disclaimer: Unfortunately, it is impossible to give comprehensive tax advice over the internet, no matter how well researched or written. Before relying on any information given on this site, contact a tax professional to discuss your particular situation.

Have a question? Ask the taxgirl! – Now on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/taxgirl

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Kelly Phillips Erb
Kelly Phillips Erb is a tax attorney, tax writer, and podcaster.
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5 thoughts on “Ask The Taxgirl: Finding Natural Birth Parents”

  1. Juni says:
    October 21, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Actually, we’ll find your birth parents for free, go to the website and fill out the form, we are search angels from all over the states that take on the job. I can’t tell you how many people have told me they hired someone that weren’t any help, and then we found them in a matter of hours. You need to request your “Non-Identifying” information , we can tell you how-This is a 100% volunteer based, FREE – Non Profit Registry. Helping people reconnect, to find answers, family and medical history and hopefully peace. (Must be 18 to search or post)
    (Gary Schaefer is the owner. He started this in memory of Danna Kay Schaefer, his wife, who wanted to find her birth parents)

    GS Adoption Registry
    http://www.gsadoptionregistry.com
    1150 North River Drive Mankato, MN 56003
    gary@gsadoptionregistry.com (email)

    Reply
  2. BK says:
    October 22, 2009 at 10:59 am

    You may want to look at state specific resources. You need to add yourself to all the registries, espoecially the International Soundex Reunion Registry . DEFINITELY hook up with an adoption search angel. I personally used professional adoption investigator to find a sibling I didn’t know about. It was inexpensive & not a scam (I paid for the name & contact info once she found it – and it was less than $1000).

    Reply
  3. MY NAME IS DEE DEE. says:
    May 8, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    I VE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY MOM FOR 25YRS. MY BIRTH MOM DIDNT WANT TO HELP ME NEITHER. SHE IS PAST AWAY NOW. SO I HAVE TO FIND HER MYSELF AS I KNEW I WAS ANYWAY. MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME. IF SO, EMAIL ME BACK. THANKS.

    Reply
  4. nettie s. cox says:
    July 18, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I am searching for my son that was born alan dean cox 07-31-1960 in elmendorf hospital anchorage alaska,military hospital. he was given up for adoption thru anchorage state welfare june 1961,was 10 mo old at the time. i have been looking for years and no luck. i am 70yr old now and he is 48, will have a birthday july 31 and be49 then.really would appreciate any help you can give me. thanks nettie

    Reply
  5. nettie s.cox says:
    January 13, 2012 at 9:43 am

    i would like the above searching for son removed and what i am now writting now as i do not need it anymore.everything with my name,nettie s.cox.thanks

    Reply

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