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hustler

Who Else Wants a Bailout?

January 8, 2009 · 6 comments

So let’s see. AIG gets a bailout. Banks get a bailout. The Big 3 automakers get a bailout.

Who’s next?

If Larry Flynt and our old friend and alleged tax evader Joe Francis have their way, it would be porn.

Flynt and Francis have penned a (no jokes, please, remember that my mom is reading) letter to Congress asking for a $5 billion bailout to save the porn industry. I’m sorry, I meant the adult entertainment industry.

Neither Flynt nor Francis claim to be in financial trouble (despite Francis’ tax and other legal woes). They note that while DVD sales are down, growth on adult entertainment web sites has been steady. Yet, Flynt believes that a porn bailout would do the country good, saying: “People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

Francis released a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.” Cherished? Really? He’s such a wordsmith.

Congress has not responded to the letter.

My take? You’re expecting me to be indignant, I’ll bet. Only I’m not. It’s rare that I find myself in Larry Flynt’s corner but today I do. I get the absurdity of it all – which is exactly the conversation that he’s trying to start. The string of bailouts at the expense of taxpayers (though I’m not thoroughly convinced that Francis can count himself among taxpayers considering his pending charges for federal tax evasion) is making us weary. The numbers are starting to blur. What’s $5 billion anymore? We don’t even blink at those kind of numbers now that Congress is handing out $700 billion “virtually no strings attached” checks – remember, that’s our money. Ours.

So maybe we should spend it on things that make us happy – the folks at AIG certainly did.

Or maybe we should think a little bit harder about where our money is going and why.

With that, if you need me, I’ll be sitting at my desk drafting my own appeal to Congress for the tax blogger bailout…

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South Carolina Legislators Endeavor to Make the State Moral

April 9, 2008 · 11 comments

With apologies to my brother and his family who no doubt voted for some of the representatives in the South Carolina legislature, the state should be embarrassed for its constant attempts to make the state fit someone’s view of morality.

Just a few short days after South Carolina passed a law to give married couples a whopping $24 out of the state coffers in an effort to promote marriage (which makes you wonder about the good folks of South Carolina if $24 is all that it takes), Sen. Mike Fair (R – Greenville) added a 20% tax to porn magazines. The tax, on such magazines as Playboy and Hustler, is expected to generate an additional $385,000, money which the state will use to help the Department of Probation, Pardon and Parole manage sex offenders.

It is so very clear, no? There must be a clear tie between reading porn magazines and sex offenders – mothers everywhere, take note. Your teenage boys are apparently at risk.

What else is South Carolina trying to make more expensive? Why, those other sinful behaviors: drinking and smoking. A proposal to raise fees on alcohol sales failed after Sen. Fair argued it would break rules that limit tax increases and law changes in the budget – I’m not sure why this didn’t apply to his porn tax. However, a 50% per pack cigarette tax increase did pass Committee.

So there you go. If you’re planning on drinking, smoking, looking at porn or – heaven forbid – remaining single, take note: South Carolina is gunning for you. Get your wallet ready!

(And here’s my disclaimer: I’m a southern girl myself. I grew up in North Carolina. Many of my relatives on both sides (Mom and Dad) hail from South Carolina. I don’t hate the state. I just question whether the folks there have lost their minds…)

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