Happy birthday, Dr. Seuss! Theodor Seuss Geisel, or Dr. Seuss as he is known to most of the world, was born on March 2, 1904. And though he passed away in 1991, his books and his poems are still as popular as ever.
I love the idea of combining silliness with reality and over the past few years, on Dr. Seuss’ birthday, I’ve mixed a little tax in with my Seuss. You can see my previous efforts in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2016, and 2017.
This year, I’ve re-written “Green Eggs and Ham” to be “Thefts, Schemes, and Scams.” It seems fitting with the emphasis on tax-related identity theft, including this most recent scam.
I hope you enjoy it!
Thefts, schemes, and scams
I am scammed. Scammed I am.
Yes, scammed I am. Yes, scammed I am.
I do not like it, scammed I am.
Do you like thefts, schemes, and scams?
I do not like them, scammed I am.
I do not like thefts, schemes, and scams.
Would you like them here or there?
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like thefts, schemes, and scams.
I do not like them, scammed I am.
Would you like them on your phone?
Would you like them at your home?
I do not like them on my phone.
I do not like them at my home.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like thefts, schemes, and scams.
I do not like them, scammed I am.
Would you like them through email?
Would you like them on your cell?
Not through email.
Not on my cell.
Not on my phone.
Not at my home.
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like thefts, schemes, and scams
I do not like them, scammed I am.
Would you? Could you? Lose your cash?
Quickly! Quickly! They act fast.
I would not, could not, lose my cash.
You may get tricked. You will see.
You may pay a fake fee.
I would not, could not pay a fake fee.
I won’t lose cash! Just let me be.
I do not like them through email.
I do not like them on my cell.
I do not like them on my phone.
I do not like them at my home.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like thefts, schemes, and scams.
I do not like them, scammed I am.
Your PIN! Your PIN!
Your PIN! Your PIN!
Could you, would you, give out your PIN?
Not give out my PIN! Not pay a fake fee!
Not lose my cash! Scams! Let me be!
I would not, could not, through email.
I could not, would not, on my cell.
I will not like them at my home.
I will not like them on my phone.
I will not like them here or there.
I will not like them anywhere.
I do not like thefts, schemes, and scams.
I do not like them, scammed I am.
Say! Write a check? You’ll write a check!
Would you, could you, write a check?
I would not, could not, write a check.
Would you, could you, let them win?
I would not, could not, let them win.
Not write a check. Not give out PIN.
Not lose my cash. Not pay a fake fee.
I do not like them, scams, you see.
Not on my phone. Not through email.
Not at my home. Not on my cell.
I will not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like thefts, schemes, and scams?
I do not like them, scammed I am.
Could you, would you, via text?
I would not, could not, via text!
Would you, could you, pay them next?
I could not, would not pay them next.
I will not, will not, via text.
I will not ever let them win.
I will not ever give out my PIN.
Not write a check! Not pay a fake fee!
Not lose my cash! You let me be!
I do not like them through email.
I do not like them on my cell.
I will not like them on my phone.
I do not like them at my home.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
I do not like thefts, schemes, and scams!
I do not like them, scammed I am.
You do not like them. So you say.
Listen! Listen! Because one day…
Listen close because one day…
Scams will never let you be.
There will be new ones, you will see.
Watch out for thefts, schemes, and scams!
Watch out! They’re out there, scammed I am!
And I would not like to pay them next.
And I would not like them via text.
And I will not ever let them win.
Not write a check. Not give out my PIN.
Not lose my cash. Not pay a fake fee.
No matter how good they are, you see!
So I’ll delete that email.
And I’ll hit block on my cell.
And I’ll hang up from my phone.
And I’ll dodge them at my home.
And I’ll avoid them here and there.
Say! I’ll evade them anywhere!
I so dislike thefts, schemes, and scams!
No more! No more, scammed I am!
